How Schnorrer Hershel Came to Make Us All Meshuganners

Now, child, I want you should understand how Hershel came to be. In the beginning, when Earth was young and didn't get good grades on Chumash tests, because she was so obnoxious, God, praised be he, created Adam and Eve. Now, child, we all know what happened to that. How those two shlemiels be so meshuganneh as to disobey HaShem, praised be He? Well, after Adam and Eve left and Cain was so jealous that he broke his brother's nose, the Garden of Eden was as quiet as your grandfather after he's had too much Manaschevitz. HaShem, praised be he, was thinking of trying again to make babies. But no raw materials he had, child, since everythin gwas swimming with the fishes and it would be rude to talk to Noah's family when they were seasick. So he took some stars, water, and pure rain to make a man called Schnorrer Hershel.
Now, child, that God had his Schnorrer Hershel, he decided to tell him how to make babies. He also wanted he should tell Hershel his future.
"Schnorrer Hershel," God said, "I want you should make babies."
"But I don't want I should make babies," Hershel said. "Too messy. And every time I try, my Gefilte (for he had a wife named Gefilte) wants she should do it in public like those no-good Etruscans."
"Hershel, shut up!" God shouted, for in those days HaShem was allowed to be mean once a day. "Hershel, I want you should make babies on your lonesome."
"How should I do that, God?" Hershel asked, baffled.
"By making a special baby-challah dough that you'll want you should bake at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit after some no-good Americans invent ways to measure how hot it is when you sweat."
"But what happens to to Gefilte?"
"She's going to be prime minister of Ukraine after Karl Marx goes to heaven."
"What happens to me?"
"God (for HaShem liked to hear his name said back then before his Bubbie gave Him a good spanking), must I tell you everything? After you have made a man instead of a baby, and that man dies, you will go into the woods and the Messiah will come to you. No, Schnorrer Hershel, not that long-haired meshugganer from the Holy Land."
"Okay. But one question, HaShem. What if I get it wrong?"
"You're supposed to get it wrong! You're a schnnorer!"